But Not

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are  afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;  always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. (2 Cor. 4:7-10)

The other day I was searching for a word that would describe what I was feeling at the moment.  The word was perplexed. I cannot make my point if I do not share some of my own personal thoughts and struggles.  So here it goes:  I was looking at two situations that did not seem to make sense to me (perplexing).  The first situation was that we are seeing our ministry expand and bear fruit.  There is no pride in that statement.  Believe me, after nearly 18 years as a missionary I am very clear on one thing.  If the Lord does not move on someone’s heart with revelation, healing or some Life-giving touch of His Spirit – nothing valuable or lasting happens.  Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…(James1:17)  We, as representatives, simply get to be in the room when He does what only He can do.  So I was feeling appreciation and a sense of gratitude about our ministry and its increase.  The second thought which I was experiencing at the same time was in the area of finances.  Our finances do not seem to be keeping up with ministry and personal needs.  I found this perplexing.  In the Lord’s kindness I came across the above verses in 2 Corinthians chapter 4.  It seems I am in good company.  Paul’s words pulled my attention into the text.  The words “but not” were riveting.  Here is what I walked away with:  This planet continues to be a war zone.  One day all will be made completely right – but that is not now.  Stuff happens, difficult times come, challenges take place, happenings occur that make no sense to us as believers.  We, however, can choose to live in the “but nots”.  Looking at the verses above we find that affliction does NOT have to lead to being crushed.  Perplexity does NOT have to lead to despair.  Feeling struck down does NOT have to lead to destruction.

It seems that the “but nots” are the places of genuine faith.  It is the place where we fasten our eyes on the Savior as our unfailing anchor during tough times.  It is the place that we reject all notions (lies) of abandonment by God or withdrawal of His love and compassion from us.  Living in the “but nots” is knowing that Truth supersedes circumstances and that all things are redeemable for our good (Romans 8:28).  Ultimately living in the “but nots” is trusting the unseen One more than my own weak and limited evaluations of the present moment.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

Early one morning I walked to the beach to pray.  While sitting on the ramp I found my attention drawn to the sea oats.  My attention was captivated by the sway of their stems and blossoms.  Then my focus changed and I looked through the oats to the ocean.  And there it was, in all its majesty, splendor and power, reflecting the rising sun and the hope of a new day.  It was unseen until I looked through the riveting attention of the sea oats.  Perhaps, just perhaps faith is the choice to look through the (temporary) circumstances TO the unseen One who is always (eternally) there!  In Him is peace.

Garden To Glory

When the devil had finished every temptation, he left Him until an opportune time. (Luke 4:13)

I believe that the “opportune time”, perhaps the time of the absolute height of temptation for our Savior, was in the Garden of Gethsemane. The words on the pages of our Bibles can only give inconceivable hints of what occurred in that garden.  The Son of Man was facing the unimaginable.  The cross was just hours away and the kiss of betrayal was coming.  The weight of the world was crushing the soul of Jesus literally pressing Him to the ground.  The vile taste of death was already in His mouth.  The deep groans of a tormented soul poured out.  “Is there another way?”   I believe the enemy was close at hand when the height of temptation was met with intimate faith.  “Abba, You can do anything….You can take this away….yet, not My will but Yours”.  Jesus went to the intimate place with his Father (Abba) to draw strength to do the unthinkable.

The unthinkable was this:  He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Cor. 5:21)

Please look closely at the language of that verse.  The One who knew no sin became sin.  We cannot comprehend this no matter how hard we try.  We were born in sin, we live in a sin-filled world, it is like living with and among a constant virus.  Jesus was never touched with sin.  The Sinless One was the purest of pure, the Holiest of Holies, unscathed and untainted by sin.  And this Holy One was about to draw the sin of the entire world into Himself.  All the vile unspeakable things done in the dark.  All that has broken hearts and lives was about to invade, voluntarily, the Lamb.  He did not carry our sin, like in a backpack strapped across His shoulders, NO it was more like He ingested our sin, destroying it with His innocent blood – and the process was lethal. While the torment of the lashes, the ridicule, the thorns, the nails and the spear cut and slashed with unimaginable pain.  I believe the temptation in the garden that Jesus had victory over was this; He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

The temptation was overcome by the love of Jesus for Abba and His love for you and me.  Now, those of us who know Him are indeed the righteous ones.  Thanks be to God!

The glory of Easter began in a Garden.

HE IS RISEN!

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Led Not Driven

My sheep hear My voice and I know them and they follow Me.  (John 10:27)

I am writing this posting from the beautiful mountains of northern Italy.  Snow covered mountains are outside my window at the Operation Mobilization training facility. Simply beautiful!  This is cheese making country and some of that cheese comes from sheep.

I was reminded of an earlier experience in the mind-90′s of working on a YWAM base, an actual sheep farm, in Tasmania.  Part of our duties included occasionally moving the sheep from one pasture to the next.  We did NOT lead the sheep, we Drove them.  They were afraid of us, so we got behind them and drove them through narrow gates, to where we wanted them to go.

In Israel the sheep are led.  The shepherd walks ahead of the sheep, clearing danger, searching for the best feeding grounds where the sheep can be nurtured, cared for, fed, rested and matured.  The sheep hear his voice, recognize the shepherd, and trustingly follow him.

What a beautiful picture of our Shepherd!  He leads us with His loving kindness and does not drive us by fear.  His voice, unlike the  voice of the enemy, speaks words of assurance, encouragement, and blessing.  He knows that fear may move someone for a short distance, but it will never awaken love, gratitude, and a desire to follow the Shepherd wherever He may lead.

May the Lord give us discernment to resist all other voices but His.  The pastures that He leads us to may indeed have challenges and valleys but He is with us every step of the way.  We must recognize that voices that motivate by shame and fear, even when hear those voices in buildings associated with His name, do not come from the Shepherd.  His voice brings life!

God Was Here And I Did Not Know It

Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it. (Gen. 28:16)

Recently I read this phrase “The art of deep seeing makes gratitude possible”.  Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts went onto say, “And it is the art of gratitude that makes joy possible”.

Like Jacob, I have to wonder how many times I have experienced life without the slightest awareness of God’s presence.  Theologically we know that God is omnipresent, absolutely always present.  Psalm 139 reveals to us with a poetry that lifts the veil of mystery and rivets us to a wonderful truth – we could not escape His presence if we tried!  And that is a deep part of the good news that we call Gospel. No matter what joy I experience or challenge I endure – HE, the great I AM, is there.  Wonderful!  And the truth that must follow is that if He is there, He in some way or another is active.  Whether I see it or not.

I think my mistake has been that I reduce my awareness of God’s presence to something identifiable or maybe even something enjoyable.  A prayer answered that way I would like or my heart warming during a time of worship or an exciting insight while reading the scriptures speaks to me of His presence.  But the reality is – He is always present and active.  But if those things that I enjoy do not happen, does that not mean God is not present?  I know the right answer theologically, but what is my heart saying?  And once again I think of Jacob’s words “the Lord is in this place and I did not know”.  Here is my discovery- To reduce my awareness of God’s presence to only those things that I enjoy reduces my potential for experiencing Him.  Gratitude then lies dormant and lifeless and joy stunted and conditional.

I need and want “the art of deep seeing”.  Perhaps the beatitude “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt.5:8) is speaking to this truth. May the Lord purge and purify our hearts from all that limit our vision of this amazing God.  Pure hearts help to produce clear vision of the ever present Father who loves us.

If

And the tempter came and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God….. (Matthew 4:3)

When the enemy of our soul spoke to the Lover of our soul he began each statement with the phrase “If You are the Son of God”.   With what followed after that phrase we can also discern the Tempter’s obvious inference “then prove it!”  Jesus never took the bait!  Jesus personified a Man who always knew who He was.  Jesus was so clear, so confident in His identity He that could easily move from washing feet to receiving worship; from being a boy in the Temple teaching the teachers to being a man holding and blessing children; from touching the foul skin of a leper to touching the heart of a prostitute, from the Lion of Judah to the Lamb of sacrifice.  Jesus was always in touch with His identity – even in the Garden of Gethsemane, at what I believe was his most intense moment of temptation, He knew He was His Father’s beloved Son when in prayer He used the intimate term “Abba” (Mark 14:36).

The goal of the enemy is division (a house divided will not stand).  Division creates some form of isolation and leaves us vulnerable to further deception.  While Truth sets us free – Deception sickens the soul.  Well aimed poison-tipped arrows seek to divide families, groups of believers and even our own hearts (Psalms 86:11). Every lie that we believe is a step toward thinking and acting as if (see Proverbs 23:7) we are divided from our Father.  With Jesus, the enemy attacked the very essence of His identity, which of course was being His Father’s Son.  With us it is the same.

In our case the “IF” usually comes one of two ways:  Scenario A – We find ourselves in the middle of a difficult season, maybe something quite tragic.  Our prayers do not seem to be answered, at least in the way we would like.  The lie takes the form “Where is God for you?  He helps others, what’s wrong with you?  IF you were really His child, things would be different”. He knows that if we define our relationship with God by our circumstances and not by His covenant, we will feel divided and cut-off and possibly live as if we are. Scenario B – Somehow we blow it.  We do or say something that is totally wrong.  It might be in thought, word, or deed.  We sin. And the sneering voice says “IF you were really a Christian, would you have done that? And we find ourselves running to shame and guilt (division) instead of running into the open-armed forgiveness of our Father.

As those who have been born again we must know our identity, our very worth and value does not come from us.  It comes from Him.  We cannot add to it, we cannot diminish it.  We can only surrender to it and know ourselves  as costly purchased dearly loved children of God.  That alone must be our Rock.  That deep Truth will indeed set us free.

I Love Lucy

On December 10th Lucy Joy was born.  I believe that being trusted with the office and calling of ‘grandfather’ is a joy and responsibility that younger men lack the equipment to grasp. As in all stages and circumstances of life, it is another opportunity to discover the heart of the Father in new and fresh ways. Below are my ramblings concerning the birth of a new stage of joy named Lucy.

Lucy’s birth story for me started long before the day she made her entry into the world.  It began 29 plus years ago the day Emily Joy was born, my daughter, Lucy’s mother.

Something awakens in the heart of a father when a daughter is born, something different than a son.  In the Lord’s kindness I have the privilege of being a father to both.  And what good parents discover is that although they love their children equally, they love them differently and that is perhaps how it should be.  I am enjoying watching my son-in-law personally experience that which previously could only be viewed from afar.

It is hard to describe what awakens in the heart of a father for his daughter.  It’s like his eyes are opened in a fresh new way to beauty, femininity, purity and joy.  It awakens a desire to be protector, hero, provider, nurturer and guide.  We are drawn out of our masculine worlds into a world of tea parties, dolls, story books and dancing with one oh-so- lovely standing on our feet.  And it’s a journey we joyfully and willingly take.  I have found that a father’s love for a daughter does not change over time or stage of life; it only deepens with shiny new facets taking shape, adding gravity to what was already there.  And then comes the day that Steve Martin eloquently captured in The Father of the Bride, “you go from worrying about your daughter going out with the wrong kind of guy to going out with the right guy”.  And when that happens, while dads may remain aging heroes, they properly, though with some tears, clearly have to take a back seat to the right guy.  Such is life.

But then, in my case, after some years came a gift.  His name is Oliver (see Exploring New Stages, March 2011).  Oliver, the curly-headed boy who smiles easily, is always on an adventure of discovery and clearly loves his Popsy (that’s me!).  And a new stage of life began.  Oliver, someone to be rough and tumble with, someone who is the beginning of a whole new generation that has yet to hear my jokes!  Oliver, like chocolate chips cookies, a day at the beach or a kiss in the dark brought longing for more.  And the thoughts of a little girl, a granddaughter, began to dance through my mind and imagination.  Could it happen?

Emily is not a gifted liar.  Emily’s face, much like her mother’s, reflects her emotions and quickly gives away what is going on in her heart.  But not this time.  She got me.  After one of our returns from Thailand something Emily said or did made me think she might be pregnant.  I talked to Patty about my impression and we eventually asked her.  Emily, with the skill of a Los Vegas gambler, bluffed her way through our query and convinced us she was not.  End of story (!)– or so we thought!  On Mother’s Day, over a special lunch, she revealed the truth to us in a beautiful way!  We laughed, we wept and once again the picture of a little girl began to dance through my imagination.  Could it be?  And it was!

The time of Emily’s pregnancy seemed to speed by, not for her of course, but for me.  And as Christmas was approaching in earnest, so was Lucy’s coming ‘out party’.  The labor plan was developed and we each had our role.  Mark of course would be with Emily, Patty would be acting doula and me- I would take care of Oliver.  A labor of love for me!    The details of Lucy’s birth have been eloquently captured by Emily.  But please bear with me for one more beautiful detail.

Lucy is my daughter’s daughter.  Lucy carries the fragrance of her mother, the little girl who stole my heart so many years ago and is now the mother of two.  I cannot and should not try to recapture earlier days.  But Lucy, somehow, mysteriously, connects for me the joy of the past to the joy of the present and causes them to flow into joy of the future.  She is a gift.  And to make the gift even more beautiful Mark and Emily added one more bow to the package.  They named her Lucy Joy McConnell Lein.  She carries forward the name McConnell, my name.  Our wonderful son plans for no children.  He is my only son as I am my father’s only son.  Our family name McConnell will at some point fade away- but not now.  Lucy carries not only the fragrance of her mother, my beautiful daughter, but our very name into the next generation – what a gift indeed.

Repentance versus (New Year’s) Resolution

…..the kindness of God leads you to repentance. (Romans 2:4)

Ah repentance.  Just the word makes us feel uncomfortable and perhaps a bit squeamish.  It feels like a word that thunders at us, probes our behavior and our motives, pinning us to guilt, failure and sometimes even shame.  If that is our understanding of repentance, no wonder we shy away and miss the powerful gift that it is!  It is indeed a gift that is an act of God’s kindness, flowing from His passionate love for us.

The ability to repent for ourselves and the ability to forgive others are two of the most life-giving gifts the Lord has given His children.  So weighty and critical are these gifts, so necessary and life-sustaining, that He has made them commandments.  They are breath and sustenance, purging the soul of life-reducing, relationship destroying carcinogens.

At New Year’s resolutions are often made.  And we all know, most often broken in short order.  Resolutions are made in our strength and determined by our (limited) abilities, overshadowed by our inevitable weaknesses and habits.  Repentance is a completely different dynamic and brings the very power of God into the situation.   Please follow my rambles below:

Resolution is similar to remorse - we see an unhealthy habit in our lives, we feel bad (remorse) about the habit and make a resolution to change.  It is rarely lasting because feelings change, habits return and our self-motivated resolve falters.

Repentance on the other hand has its beginning in revelation.  The Lord reveals to us some life-polluting or life-reducing habit or behavior.  We may find ourselves locked in habits of: gossip, judgmental comments and criticism, words of fear and anxiety, self-deprecating comments, etc.  In each case life is diminished or polluted and/or relationships are infected, which I think is a pretty good definition of sin.

His goal has little to do with how we feel, although our feelings are involved.  His goal is that we CHANGE, that we get free of that which negatively impacts the one (you and me) that He loves and cherishes.  Change, not how we feel, is the central part of the Biblical definition of repentance. And here is the good news; repentance invites the presence and the power of God into the process!  In His wisdom He knows that most often the real issue is something deep within our hearts.  He knows that often our negative words and attitudes are streaming from an unhealed place in our hearts.  He alone can bring healing and restoration to those hidden and hurting places in us. I have come to believe that most often repentance is the Lord’s avenue of healing the heart and restoring the soul. 

This year, whether the changes we need have to do with our health, our time, our relationships, or our very hearts – may we with trembling boldness invite the Lord of Life into the deepest part of who we are and yield to His life-giving love.