The Lord is very kind to me. In His ruthless love and His painful kindness he recently healed a wound in my soul. The details are not important, but like all painfully deep wounds it was relational. The offense I suffered was painful. To further compound and perpetuate the festering place in my soul – I was blind to it. But He was not. The symptoms were there, but like those who ignore and deny the symptoms of a bodily illness, I too was in a form of denial. Somehow I managed to explain away the low grade fever of irritability and the occasional bouts of coughing out harsh and angry words. “I’m fine” I would say, but He knew better and so did those closest to me.
The word ‘ruthless’ means to be without pity. Physicians must see past the temporary pain they cause through a medical procedure to bring health to the body. The One who restores our souls (Psalm 23) must do the same. It is painful when the Holy One touches unholy places in our lives. When He probes deeply and does not withdraw His scalpel of truth and lances hidden bitterness, it hurts. When He draws our attention and forces our gaze on a pocket of soul infection, seeing that which we would rather not see, our eyes fill with tears. But – when we embrace the healing correction of His mercy with humility, repentance and forgiveness; healing begins to flow.
(Rom 2:4) Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?
The verse in Romans describes God’s heart attitude toward us: kindness, tolerance and patience. This is the treasure of our relationship with Him, these are our true riches. It is His kindness that leads us to the restoring of our souls through the gift and requirement of repentance.
In the middle of my Jacob-like wrestling with the Lord my whining self-pitying flesh cried out “it feels like You hold me to a higher standard than everybody else”! In that very moment the eyes of my heart saw the cross, the nails, the thorns, the whip, the fists, the words shouted, the rejection, the isolation, the naked shame. My whining stopped, my heart broke and the healing began. By God’s ruthless love my soul was healed from and a relationship restored. HE is good!